Why-o, Why-o, Why-o Did I Ever Leave Ohio?

Okay, so we never lived in Ohio.  In fact, I'm not sure that I've ever been to Ohio.  I'm sure that it's a lovely place.  Tommy Boy made Sandusky, Ohio look like a beautiful place to live.  But this, my internet friends, is the cry of my people!  My original purpose for this blog was to create a place where I could share my love of old {or old looking} things as I made our suburban farmhouse a home.  You know those beautiful blogs that feature gorgeous pictures of white shiplapped walls with perfectly arranged gallery walls hanging above a distressed church pew turned entryway bench that has grain sack pillows and Hewey the Golden Doodle resting upon it?  You know exactly what I'm talking about and I wanted that!  However, things do not always work out the way they have been carefully scripted in your head!  I'm learning to cope with that stupid, trite phrase "you don't always get what you want"!    I'm okay with that... well, mostly okay with that!  So, this blog is now my venting place... because everybody needs a venting place.  This is very different than the laughing place where our family usually hangs out.  It is the place where I can rewrite the script of the movie "The Money Pit"!  We really do love our home.  Even in it's unfinished state.  This is why my originally titled, "Farmhome on Alexander" blog is now titled "My Friggin' Awesome Farmhouse".  It's reverse psychology and so far it's not working, but it will... one day!  This blog will journal our adventures into fixing all that "went wrong" during our build job!  Okay... back to the beginning.  We are self employed.  Do you know what bites about being self employed?  The taxes do!  Its a game every spring to try to figure out how to only pay an arm rather than throwing the leg in as well!  Our accountant's advice... build a new home.  We loved our little, cozy rambler that we had owned for 14 years, but the time was right, the advice was heeded and we bought a 1/2 acre next to a bison, elk and horse ranch.  I know many of you tried and true country folk are huffawing at our little 1/2 acre piece of property, but in all honesty, in the suburb where we live, these properties are very hard to find.  We still have the aroma of the country so we pretend we live in the middle of the country.  It's an amazing dream until our neighbors wave at us through our bedroom window while they stand on their deck.  When we started planning our home, I told my husband that if I can't have a 120 year old farm house to renovate, then we are going to build a house that looks 120 years old.  He was totally okay with that.  Plans were drawn up and we began our hunt for a builder.  We received 3 bids and decided to go with the builder that the company that did our engineering suggested.  I figured that since I saw the crack of his hind parts creeping out the top of his jeans on the 1st meeting, he must be a qualified builder.  His naked hind parts weren't all that I based my opinion of him on!  We made our decision on a few other factors, but I'm not going to lie... I thought we had a winner.  Nope.  No we did not have a winner!  In fact, we had a loser!  That loser will now be known in the blog as Stronzo.  Just go with it!  Lets just say that he was over timeline, over budget and did not necessarily follow the plans.  Weren't we supposed to have 9 ft ceilings in the basement?  The plans say yes, Stronzo said no.  Seven months into the build, Stronzo took his family on a 1st class cruise to the Bahamas.  Our bank was livid when they asked where he was.  They sent him a notification and the next thing he sends us is a text informing us that he is quitting!  Are you serious?!? All heck broke loose and we had no idea what to do.  Lawyers got involved.  Threats were made.  A "friend", Stronzo Jr., that happened to be a builder volunteered to help us finish the house.  With the tiny bit of money that our original builder had left us, we had to be super careful so our "friend" brought in some guys that he said would do an amazing job at a lower price.  Let's just get this straight right now... my husband and I try to see the good in everyone and are far too trusting.  Along with this, we NEVER learn our lesson.  You can imagine what happened.  No?  Let me catch you up... the moldings were put in completely wrong, but they wouldn't fix them.  Some of the lights were put in wrong, but never fixed.  The painter used a paintbrush taped to the end of a broomstick to do the top of the walls where the ceiling meets the wall.  We also realized that the "paint" he was using and dripping all over my hickory railing and floor was actually tinted primer.  Yep, tinted primer for the final coat.  He was kindly asked to get the H-E-double hockey sticks out of my house that night and reminded to never come back. We had to eliminate some of the cabinets, tile work and specialty molding to try to stay in budget.  We still didn't stay in budget.  Then to finish it all up, our "friend", Stronzo Jr., demanded tens of thousands of dollars as payment for helping us "finish" the house.  Let's just say that he didn't get what he wanted.  We finally found a backbone and haven't talked to him since.  The house is still far from finished, but is any house really ever finished?  So... this is all about our progress in turning this house into the beautiful farmhome it was meant to be and maybe a little bit about the antics of the minions we call children.  There's 4 of them so the chaos is plentiful!